everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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