9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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