Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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