found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
