Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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