ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
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The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
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He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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