Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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