I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
