So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
