Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
4 words: hood of his car
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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