Nicole vs. Life
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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