Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize