new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize