wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
