that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
