Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
