So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
