I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
