She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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