Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
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Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
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I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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