i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
time to smoke my breakfast
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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