GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
