Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
