If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Is her dick bigger than yours?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize