Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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