I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
