Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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