I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
