right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
