After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....