waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.