I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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