Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
