My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
