So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i dont even know how to be here
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
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Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
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He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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