in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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