she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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