I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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