Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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