I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
