I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
