I wish I could punch you in the face.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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