I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize