This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
