you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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