i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
