2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize