So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize