And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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