Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
