so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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