dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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