I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize