it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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