It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
being pregnant is like rehab
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
