Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
