Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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