WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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