let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
