roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We had sex on a dog bed..
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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