I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
