Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
