OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Bring me that man meat
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
