part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
