STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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