Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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