When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
