remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
it glows. i had to have it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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