drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
