I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The beer is more important than you right now.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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