i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize