You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
